| | Do any of you remember the breath-taking, cinematic genius of a piece UHF? It stars one Mr. Weird Al Yankovic and one budding star Michael Richards.
Tagline: TV as it was meant to be seen. In a movie theater.
Oh, the memorable quotes for those of us who have appreciated its artistic splendor:
Crazy Ernie: If nobody comes down here and buys a car in the next hour, I'm gonna club this baby seal. That's right. I'm gonna club this seal to make a better deal. You know I'll do it, to, cause I'm crazy.
Stanley Spadowski: I'm thinkin' of something orange. Something orange. Give up? It's an orange.
[laughs]
Stanley Spadowski: Ok, now I'm thinkin' of something blue. Something bluuuuuue.
[afterlosing his thumb in a table saw]
Joe Earley: Can you believe this? Would you look at that? Just call me "Mr. Butterfingers." I think it's on the floor somewhere. Is my face red.
There’s also some serious, life-affirming lessons to be learned:
GENDER EQUALITY
Pamela Finklestein: "Broads don't belong in broadcasting"? Is that the kind of professional courtesy you teach your news department?
R.J. Fletcher: Why, that's a terrible thing. I don't know how many time I've told those boys, never call chicks broads.
THE MEANING OF LIFE
Stanley Spadowski: Life is like a mop. Sometimes life gets full of dirt and crud and hairballs and things and you gotta clean it out. You gotta stick it in here and rinse it off and start all over again. And sometimes life sticks to the floor so much that a mop, a mop, it's not good enough. You gotta get down there with like a toothbrush, you know, and you gotta really scrub 'cause you gotta get it off. But if that doesn't work, you can't give up. You gotta stand right up. You gotta run to a window and say, "These floors are dirty as hell, and I'm not gonna take it any more."
And apparently for my son, it has given him direction in life. Now, he has yet to see UHF, but seeing as how it took me three times to get through the movie in high school (we’d always put it in after watching all three star wars movies or an 8 hour tape of Ren and Stimpy, so I’d fall asleep), it must’ve saturated into some part of me that I passed on to him.
Because Munch is going to work at Spatula City:
Sy Greenblum: Hello, this is Sy Greenblum, president of Spatula City. I like the spatulas so much, I bought the company.
All day long Munch has had a facination with spatulas. He drags his Lego container or his toy box or his tool box over to the drawer that houses all the Fun Kitchen Gadgets, stands on his tip toes, opens the drawer, and feels around until he feels something long and metal: every time he drags out a spatula (no, not the bowl-scrappers; the metal pancake-flippers). All around the house he bangs things with the delightful gadget: walls, his toys, the cat.
He took a nap with the spatula. I tried to pry it out of his hands, but there would be no separation.
Bubba wanted to be a flash-light packer; Munch will be a spatula tester.
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| | Posted 1/10/2006 5:31 PM - 53 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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